Letter 11

To the Elders. I was not strong enough, for all my resistance, to refuse the bishopric — despite everything I tried. But it was not your will that overcame me. It was a divine force that caused the delay then and has brought about my acceptance now. I would rather have died many times over than take on this religious office, because I did not consider myself equal to the burden. But since God has accomplished not what I asked but what He willed, I pray that He who has shepherded my life will also defend His charge. How will I manage? I devoted my youth to philosophical leisure and the contemplation of abstract being, mingling in worldly affairs only enough to fulfill my basic duties as a citizen. How will I ever be equal to a life of daily administration? And if I surrender myself to an avalanche of practical matters, will I ever again find time for the beautiful things of the mind — the things that can only be gathered in undisturbed leisure? Without that, would life even be worth living for someone like me? I do not know. But they say all things are possible with God, even impossible things. Lift up your hands in prayer for me. Give orders to the people in the city and in the countryside and in the village churches to pray for us, in private and in the congregation. If God does not forsake me, then I will know that this priesthood is not a descent from philosophy but a step upward toward it.

Letter 11: Accepting the Bishopric [1] To the Elders I was unable, for all my strength, to prevail against you and to decline the bishopric, and this in spite of all my machinations; nor is it to your will that I have yielded. Rather was it a divine force which brought about the delay then, as it has caused my acceptance now. I would rather have died many deaths than have taken over this religious office, for I did not consider my powers equal to the burden. But now that God has accomplished, not what I asked, but what He willed, I pray that He who has been the shepherd of my life may become also the defender of His charge. [2] How shall I, who have devoted my youth to philosophic leisure and to the idle contemplation of abstract being, and have only mingled as much in the cares of the world as to be able to acquit myself of duties to the life of the body and to show myself a citizen - how, I say, shall I ever be equal to a life of daily routine? [3] Again, if I deliver myself over to a host of practical matters, shall I ever be able to apply myself to the fair things of the mind which may be gathered in happy leisure alone? Without all this, would life be worth living to me, and to all those who resemble me? I, for one, know not, but to God they say all things are possible, even impossible things. [4] Do you therefore lift up your hands in prayer to God in my behalf, and give orders both to the people in the town, and as many as inhabit the fields or frequent the village churches, to offer prayers for us alike in private and in the congregation. If I am not forsaken by God, I shall then know that this office of priesthood is not a decline from the realms of philosophy, but, on the contrary, a step upwards to them.