Letter 3

Faustus, from Ennodius. The case of my longing has been won by the benefit of complaints: impudence obtained what courtesy was denied. The devotion of your holy heart, which cunning silence concealed, I have drawn out; the taciturnity that was prepared to feed the fires of my desire, I have ended; by sending forth my humble pages, I have received the reward of the one who surpasses me. So does the generous earth return increase to the farmer who has broken its clods, and the rich soil brings forth noble offspring from its singular sprouts; so do the mountain's secrets respond to the voice of a single man, and while a narrow cry is overcome, the elements reveal their strength. By such an act I have obeyed the Gospel's oracles and obtained a measure of truth from its teaching, which declares that God rises and gives even to the one who knocks persistently — if not on account of merit, then on account of importunity. Let the ill-considered scrutiny of the faithless henceforth desist: I myself, a fit witness in the present dangers, bear testimony to the soundness of the saying. By frequent prayer I have obtained what I desired; what was denied to examination has been granted to the persistence of petitions. I owe you friendship, my complaints — and since you have brought my wishes to fulfillment, I shall love you all the more. Although your origin springs from just grievance, I shall henceforth, once you have delivered, begin afresh from you even when I have suffered no harm. Embracing the soothing plea of epistolary address, I give and return thanks that you did not wish me to remain long a partner in sorrows. Perhaps you did this by design and with the care of one who consults my welfare; but I ascribe it to my own sins that, while you withheld your conversation, I was tossed by greater agonies. For me alone, things contrived for my benefit turn to adversity, since in grief I always imagine the worst about what is left unsaid — because I believe that words are exchanged about moderate ailments, but the nearness of death commands the silence that will soon be broken. Thanks be to God, who turns what we judge harsh into mercy, and makes what we expected to come from our own deserts come instead from his compassion.

III. FAVSTO ENNODIVS. Acta est causa desiderii mei beneficio querelarum: meruit inpudentia quod negabat urbanitas. diligentiam sancti pectoris, 1-debram iB 2 in \\B, om. LPTV gimnasiis T, gemnawM aB 3 nuquam LV 6-cometee B, cometem P, aomitom b Bydos : T b 7 ego BLPTV, ergo b iaprobus. B, improbqs LTV 8 fidatia LT nentus B 10 pacud ferratis L 12 amantes B, amantis LPTVb prouocentem B proccacitatem b dampna LP 18 medii T sinebus B, senibus V corr m 1 14 circa] cura T conticifiee B praeualis lB 15 multttur B, multemus LPTV, mulcemur & loquatitate-L J6 ierte- Bnari b is imparem LTV ut solent ^19 dominum BTb finola B quaemrellas B 20 studes B o in ras . III. 22 Ennodius Feusto b i quaewllarum B 24 impudentia LTV quam artifex silentium tegebat, elicui: taciturnitatem, quae ad fomenta ardoris mei parata fuerat, terminaui: prorogando uiles paginas pretium uincentis accepi. sic usuram cultori uexatis reddit uber terra cespitibus et feturam nobilem de singularibus parturit gleba germinibus: sic ad uocem unius hominis montium secreta respondent et dum angustus clamor uincitur, ualitudinem suam elementa manifestant. euangelicis tali facto obeeeutus oraculis frustum de praecepti sam ueritate sortitus, cuius declarat instructio, quod pulsanti saepe surgat et tribuat deus; si non propter meritum, uel propter inportunitatem. facessat posthac infidelium male cauta discussio: integritati sententiae periclis praesentibus idoneus mihi testis adstipulor. frequenti oratione optata promerui: concessum est precum adsiduitati quod negabatur examini. debeo uobis amicitiam, querimoniae meae, quas, dum uotis effectum tribuitis, plus amabo. fuerit licet origo uestra a iusto dolore ueniens, frequenter a uobis, postquam praestitistis, etiam inlaesus incipiam. delenificam allegationem amplexus epistularis alloquii ago atque habeo gratias, quod me diu tristium noluistis esse participem. fecistis hoc forsitan uoto et studio consulentis: sed adscribo peccatis meis, quod maioribus, dum temperatis alloquio, sum iactatus angoribus. mihi uni in aduersum prouisa contingunt, dum grauiora semper in maerore aestimo quae tacentur, quia credo quod de mediocribus saepe communicentur uerba languoribus, cum proximitas funeris imperet silentia cito 2 fuerant L 3 precium LT, praetium B ogoram B s rtJI. 4 ueiatiB B uber om. b et simu caeepitibus B, cospistibus L\' 7 elimenta B, aelem«ita LV, et eiementa P b 9 sortius L\' 10 deui et tribuat LPTVb importuBitatem LTV 11 dacuaio hl 12 sententise sine Pb periculia PTb idoneis B 13 aetipulbr LTV 14 assiduitati 1TV 16 quaerimoniae B quas B, quam LPTYb tribuites B 16 orago L\' 17 illenu T 18 delenifica cft T epistolarii T w rGl . m. U eloqull LPTVb 20 fecissetis 11 21 ascnbo LTV 22 iSfhi T et tie saepissima 23 merorv BLTV 24 cemuneoMtw T 25 langoribus BL\'r rumpenda. deo gratias, qui ea quae dura aestimantur clementia bene uertit et quae ex merito nostro uentura collegimus ex sua facit miseratione transferri. uoluissem tamen talem circa paruitatem meam dignatio uestra tenuisset affectum, ut quem comitem saepe gaudiis adhibuistis cum eo elegissetis etiam aduersa partiri. an putatis tale beneficium in acceptum me esse relaturum, si ab aestibus pectoris uestri tamquam male fidelis excludar? non est, ut uideo, apud uos mei ratio dispensata consilii. ego mihi perire gratiam puto, nisi eam rerum omnium uobiscum communicatione nutriatis. desinite, quaeso, in hac mihi parte consulere uestra inpendio uerba cupienti cui si uotiui negentur affatus, fatiscam, ut terra cui caelo nihil liquitur nec uenas suas suco bibuli humoris infundit, unde innatis alimenta culmis exhibeat et ad falcem grauidas aristas adducat. ut piscis aqua abstractus uitalibus indumentis priuatus extinguitur, sic ego subductis alloquii uestri fluentis interimor. quaerant alii quod delectet, ego res ad animam pertinentes expostulo: mihi non tam delicias uerba uestra pariunt quam salutem. rem fateor nullis coloratam fucis, nullis nebularum depictam mendaciis, quia non sum simulandi artifex: decerptum aliquid uitae meae censui, dum tacetis. male uos fideles adseritis, si ad aures meas generaliter deflenda per uos deferantur incommoda, quasi nescire alicui Christiano liceat malum, cui Roma subcumbit. barbaras nationes et a nostro limite toto pene orbe discretas, continuis haec conicio lamentis ingemescere et ad solacium nostrum lacrimas commodare. huius rei magnitudo uestra adhibere se indicem fugit, ut in 1 existimUltur b 2 colligimus T 3 quod talem Pb 7 eetibus B peccoris T tanquam TV 9 gratiam perire T 10 nutriaris LlT designite Pb 11 impendio LTV 12 qui b fatiscam B, fatiscat LPTVb 13 nil T liquitur B, linquitur LPVb, linqui*t T saooo Tb umoris L 15 aristat Lx ut uidetwr 16 udstria B fluentis B 8. I. 18 dilicias B 20 non] si//// T 21 decertum L 22 asseritis T, adseretia B, aagerimus Pb 24 subcumbet B, \'succumbit LPTV 26 discretas B, diuisas LPTVb conitio T 26 ingemiscere TPb solacium BPT, solatium LV 27 ad*ibere L h eras. iudicem Pb perniciem meam fallacium nuntiorum diabolica cum securitate uota mentiantur, ut non sit ad cuius ueritatem post fabulas redeam nec qui animum meum ueri demonstratione sustentet. caue faxis, mi domine: uobiscum mihi alia res est: aliud fori ius, aliud triclinii. audiat te quae in conuersatione publica didiceris familia domestica retexentem: subiectorum animos et fideles ut putatis mentes relationum uestrarum cibis alite, ne ieiuna amicorum corda talibus ferculis inpasta moriantur.