Letter 150: 1. I remember our old conversations with one another, and am forgetful neither of what I said, nor of what you said. And now public life has no hold upon me.

Basil of CaesareaAmphilochius in name of Heraclidas|c. 366 AD|basil caesarea
education bookshumorproperty economicstravel mobilitywomen
Travel & mobility; Military conflict; Economic matters

Dear Amphilochius,

1. I haven't forgotten our old conversations — what I said, what you said. Public life no longer has a grip on me. I won't pretend I've completely transformed inside — I haven't yet shed the old self — but outwardly, by withdrawing from the world, I've at least begun walking the Christian path. I sit apart, like someone standing at the shore about to set sail on open water. Sailors need favorable winds; I need a guide to take my hand and lead me safely through life's bitter waves.

I feel I need two things: a curb for the recklessness of youth, and a spur toward devotion. Reason provides both — it reins in my wildness and kicks me forward when I'm lazy. But I need other remedies too, to wash off the stains of old habits. You know how it is — I spent years in the Forum [the law courts and public assembly], so I talk too much and don't guard my thoughts well enough against temptation. I'm also addicted to status and can't easily stop thinking highly of myself. Against all this, I need a great teacher.

Beyond that, I've come to see how important it is to purify the soul's vision — to clear away the darkness of ignorance so one can gaze directly at the beauty of God's glory. I know you understand all this. I know you'd want me to find someone who could help me this way, and if God ever lets us meet again, I'm sure I'll learn more about what I need to pay attention to. Right now, in my ignorance, I can barely even identify what I'm lacking.

But don't worry — I haven't given up on my first impulse toward the godly life, as you feared I might. You were right to do everything you could to keep me from turning back — like Lot's wife, who looked behind her and became a pillar of salt [Genesis 19:26]. I am still under pressure from the civil authorities, who are pursuing me like a deserter. But what drives me most is my own conscience, which confirms everything I've told you.

2. You mentioned our bond and threatened to "prosecute" me for breaking it — that actually made me laugh, even in my low spirits. You're still a lawyer at heart and never lose your cleverness! But here's how I see it, unless I'm completely wrong: there is only one road to the Lord, and everyone journeying toward Him travels together, bound by one shared life. If that's true, then wherever I go, how can I really be separated from you? How can I stop living alongside you and serving the God we've both taken refuge in? Our bodies may be far apart, but God's eye watches over us both — if a life like mine is even worth His attention. As the Psalm says, "The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous" [Psalm 34:15].

I truly pray that I might be with you in body too — that night and day, with you and every sincere worshipper, I might kneel before our Father in heaven. Communion in prayer brings great benefit. But if every time I end up lying down and groaning in some different corner, you're going to accuse me of breaking promises — well, I can't argue with you. I'll condemn myself as guilty if my own carelessness has given you grounds for the charge.

3. I was recently in Caesarea [capital of Cappadocia, in modern central Turkey] to find out what was happening there. I didn't want to stay in the city itself, so I went to the hospital nearby [likely the famous charitable complex Basil himself would later build, known as the Basiliad],

Modern English rendering for readability. See the 19th-century translation or original Latin/Greek for scholarly use.

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