Letter 42

From: Ambrose, Bishop of Milan To: The Church at Milan Date: ~378 AD Context: A deeply personal funeral oration for Ambrose's beloved brother Satyrus, who died suddenly. One of the most emotionally revealing texts Ambrose ever composed, it shows the bishop's private grief beneath his public composure. Ambrose to the faithful of Milan — on the death of his brother Satyrus. I have given you many sermons, brothers and sisters, and in most of them I have tried to teach, to instruct, to build your faith. Today I have nothing to teach. Today I can only weep. My brother Satyrus is dead. The man who managed my household so that I could manage yours, the man who carried my burdens so that I could carry the Church's, the man who was half my soul — he is gone. I am not ashamed of my tears. The Lord himself wept at the tomb of Lazarus, and Lazarus was only his friend. Satyrus was my brother — closer to me than any other human being on this earth. We shared everything: our childhood, our education, our careers, our faith. When I was called to the episcopate against my will, it was Satyrus who left his own career to take charge of my temporal affairs, asking nothing in return. He had every quality a man could ask for: intelligence, integrity, generosity, and a quiet faith that needed no display. He was not a bishop, not a monk, not a public figure — he was a Christian layman of such thoroughgoing goodness that he put most of us clergy to shame. His death was sudden, and I was not prepared. No one is ever prepared, whatever they tell themselves. The philosophy that we have preached to others about death and resurrection — it is easy to preach and hard to live. I believe every word of it, and I still feel as though the ground has opened beneath me. But I will not dishonor my brother's memory by abandoning the faith he shared. He died trusting in the resurrection, and I will trust in it too — not because it is easy but because it is true. Pray for his soul, brothers and sisters. And pray for mine, which has never needed it more. Farewell in the Lord.

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